A
STAB AT ANGELS
By
Nancy Scott
For Mark
Mullowney,
1956-2003
I
play your CDs, wandering
among
your wanting
drugs
and love and God
and
knees that worked
and
effortless thinness
and
choreless money
and
no more heart caths.
No
one else answers
my
need to ask the mundane--
colors
on QVC,
stockmarket
rates on a screen.
No
one else drives to Burger King
for
my whims or
knows
what
a younger brother knew.
Will
I someday be where you are,
looking
down and helping
the
living I care about?
I
hear you waving at me
in
sneaky wind chime
riffs
pinging
one or two notes so softly
I
must be still
to
know you move after the air
in
the orphaned space.
And
you find my lost things,
putting
my hands on them.
Have
you forgiven the Universe
for
making you
the
able-bodied sibling?
Do
you have hands and knees?
Does
any part of you ache or clog now?
What
do you wait for?
Will
I see in heaven
or
will I still be the listener
rarely
injecting her own life
except
to mostly strangers on paper?
Do
you have paper?
I
can't imagine being helpful in heaven.
Is
that why I’m not there?
FOR
M
By
Nancy Scott
Forget
distracting Wellfleet winds and waves.
Ignore
New York pigeons who nest
on
your balcony where
you
can no longer go.
Brag
about your age to an audience.
Be
furious on the page.
Blame
someone with brush or metaphor
for
being unwanted.
You
can find the right art
for
the God who granted polio.
You
can find the right future
to
fool pain and ask why.
Perhaps
a collage or a thrown pot.
Write
another poem about your burning wheelchair.
Help
another poet prune or plant language.
Always
get closer to your truth.
Like
it or not, your life is
one
more challenge,
one
more day,
one
more thing cherished and made whole.
Nancy
Scott, Easton PA, is an essayist and poet who is blind.
Her over 470 bylines
have
appeared in magazines, literary journals, anthologies, newspapers,
and as local radio commentaries. Recent work has appeared in Kaleidoscope,
The Lutheran Journal, The Sun, and Behind Our Eyes
anthology.
She received first
prize in
the 2009 International Onkyo Braille Contest. Her
second chapbook, Leveling
the Spin,
is now available.
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