"The Unraveling"

Written By

Allison Guitard

autism is

a hurricane:

i wrecked this room

the second i entered it.

it is

the sun

burning holes into retinas,

it is

running in circles around me;

i forgot

how to breathe in this

smog.

 

autism taught me

that the meaning of words distorts

when your face melts into a snarl;

it taught me

that you were better than

because you didn’t need a manual;

but you,

you showed me how to fight

for my humanity:

i fought with teeth bared,

silent

and they told me i was too passive

for love.

 

once,

i knew a love that was gentle

and sweet

like fruit in Tennessee

but it was sticky like

old jam, and

in the heat I swam too far

into you;

 

my fever

broke.

 

autism taught me

to see through the fog:

you were coming and i,

i,

i,

i dove

into the sea.

Alllison Guitard is an autistic poet, musician, and general woolgatherer. She is currently adrift, seeking things lost, and spends most of her time collecting animal bones and hanging out with dogs.