"Smoking" and "Before the Coffin"
A pot on the burner
you forgot about and left
on medium heat
simmering still not boiling
is less dangerous
than the boiling kettle
whistling through the hallways
of a bad dream -
Still you breathe in and wait
and a hose jammed through your front door
and covetous smiles
you haven't slept like this
"Before the Coffin"
Do you remember?
One time we....no matter.
Her face stares at me through fog
while he recounts years of brotherly torment
of sibling rivalry and feeling something,
we eat silently
one lettuce leaf, one round tomato
my lips part unsmiling to receive,
stomach unsettling. It's not me.
We're nodding and pretending
and slowly pain trickles onto napkins
folded carefully at the end of the meal
not discussing present reality
what could have been, what will be -
she's not here to object
still the questions I want to ask are taboo
in this the evening reckoning
our last supper.
Jeanette is an unrepentantly fat, blind, first-generation American. A poor, hyper-educated, queer cyborg--and not unpleased about it. Her works can be found at fatshionista.org, wordgathering.com, and here at Breath and Shadow! She is a co-editor at Breath and Shadow and co/moderates several disability-related communities on livejournal. She also published *Restricted Zine: voices on sexuality and disability* in 2005.