I'm back from 12 days traveling, home for about a week now. It's a real cross section of experiences with people when you’re on the road! I wanted to write some reflection on what I found, out there…

On the whole, there was fun, information, and supportive behavior out where I went. The NYAPRS conference was a real success, and it was good to see friends and family.

A couple of humiliating experiences will stick with me though. On a scale of one to ten, I would offer a score of four for the first and one for the second of these incidents. The low score should be reflected with these facts in mind. I was casually dressed,clean and polite. I was conversing in sentences the hearer understood, and acting appropriately. I did not appear to be incapacitated in any sense but blindness.

The first incident was on the plane, a Jet Blue flight from Portland to New York. I boarded the plane, unassisted, and had a normal flight until we were about to land. The flight attendant came down the aisle, stopped at my row and said, "When we land, you stay in your seat sir and we'll come and get you." I said "No."
She walked off. Why should I wait for help I neither asked for nor needed?
Did she tell the rest of the passengers to wait? I attribute this to poor training, her quick exit from the scene exemplified a good nonconfrontational approach. But imagine if I had been sitting with a business associate? I could have been embarrassed and more humiliated.

Then there was this second incident, I'll tell you this: I was deeply humiliated by this one even though no one was around.
I was in a motel in NJ where some Indians were working — You know, immigrants from India! So, after being there a couple of days, in and out of the lobby for breakfast and coffee, I walked into the lobby and asked if they had numbers for the local cab. a man behind the desk told me they'd call one.

He dialed the number, asked for a cab, gave the address where we were, and where I wanted to go. There was some silence while he listened and then he said, "But he is helpless!" It was said in a voice that sounded exasperated like, "Everybody knows how helpless blind people are!"

I said to him, right while he was on the phone, "No, no," and I stuck my face right in the little hole of the service window. "You tell them I'm a blind person and I'll be waiting outside," and so he told the company that and hung up. 'I'm sorr–ry, I'm sorr–ry," he said. And I said, "Don't be sorry. Look at me, hear me and Learn. I have traveled from Maine, to New Jersey, to New York, and back to New Jersey. I work for a living and I earn my money. I am far from helpless, and most blind people are not. I'll wait outside for my cab."

I took the cab, ate brunch at a restaurant with my friend Siham, we walked together to the train station and I left for New York City where I had a great time with a friend from my VISTA training days. Drinking beers at 3 PM in Greenwich village, eating cheesecake at midnight on the upper East Side. I got back to that motel at 2 in the morning. Helpless? (smile)

It leaves me thinking though, when immigrants come they may bring their ideas to our country. In Indian culture, it has been common for blind folks to beg, in fact, to beg to support their whole families. Begging certainly gives the impression of helplessness. I hope I made a dent in the cultural armor and let this man know that we don't have to continue to be "Helpless!"