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Again
By
Kathleen Grieger
Bandages off, I’m allowed
to
sit up. I turn one way, seeing no
difference. Inspecting the
other,
I gaze into the mirror
Right side curving
softly,
curls cover my shoulder
Left side, shaved and
stapled
New scar seeming sharp
I envy the Barbie, from
when I
was young. Push a button,
to bring out her shiny
blond hair
Pull to lengthen, new longing for me
A knock
on my door, I hear “Razor,
you ready?“ As he hums with the
motor,
I watch him move. Simply slipping,
hair slides
off my shoulder
He glides his hand soothingly over
the
surface. “There now, you see,
it feels really good. Softly
smooth
as a baby’s behind”
My relation to a behind
puts
a break in my mood.
He asserts, “You look lovely”
and
leaves with a smile
Newly calm, also smiling, I stare
and
then snicker. Shaving me
sheared away any fear. I have
been
bald before. I know I’ll be fine
Responses
By
Kathleen Grieger
Sam,
learning I would be bald
decides it might be cool
I
shave his head, deciding
it is his way of dealing with me
I
am surprised
when an angry clerk in Kohls
Says
her son had cancer,
and was bald
It is wrong of me, to
allow my son
to mock the sick
It surprises me that she
is rude,
She says it was thirty years ago,
and my
son is wrong
to remind her of bad times
Sam does not
understand
II
As we go out to dinner the next week,
an
older couple watch Sam
The husband tells his wife
not
to be so rude, to stare
She says it is cancer, he is after
all, bald
This again, surprises me
I finally tire of
the comments to Sam,
and I tell them I am going in for brain
surgery,
and will be bald
And my son did not want me to
feel bad, or alone
Rude perhaps, but necessary for me
On
my way past again,
the woman tells me, she knows a
friend,
who had a friend, who had a sister,
who had a
friend who had brain surgery,
so she knows just what Sam
is feeling
III
Later, when I am bald, with a
square
of staples running around my ear
I hear no
comments, I get no response
It seems too real for people to
see
And they politely look the other way
Responses
has been previously published in Blood
and Thunder: Musings on the Art of Medicine
Explanations
By
Kathleen Grieger
When
the headache
arrives,
so does his explanation
I
wish the headaches
would change
as does his mind
I
have been told
by the neurologist
that what I am
feeling,
is my surgery
healing
The weather
is
changing
Migraines,
migraines
migraines...
Cover
it with ice
Take medication
Get a massage
(Never
did figure
out how that one
would help)
I am
told
"You are never
the same
once the
air
hits your brain"
This seems to be
his
strongest
explanation
Kathleen
has been published in many books, including Windy
Hill Review, The
Healing Muse and Caduceus.
She started writing once again to record and respond through brain
surgeries. She has culled it down to book form, showing actions and
reactions both. kathygrieger@sbcglobal.net
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