Breath & Shadow

POETRY

ABIGAIL ASTOR

Naked

Part I: The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets

Home from fourth grade with the flu
My shame burns hotter than my fever
Cursing my flesh
I cringe naked
As my mother draws the bath

Dusky bunk–house, curtainless showers
Adolescence blooms around me
Loathsome stares, I scratch myself bloody
Undressing in the bathroom stall
I do not wash for an entire summer

Showering on suicide watch
Let the nurses gape
Beyond mortification at age twenty–five
I finally grasp
My body has never been my own

Part II: The Body Is Reclaimed

Years pass, I grow heavy, forgiving
Finished swimming my laps
I strip unabashedly for my shower
Three little girls run giggling through the locker room
All at once, I realize I am fine