Breath & Shadow
A Journal of Disability Culture and Literature
Breath and Shadow
Volume 11 Issue 4
By Lela Marie De La Garza
I didn't remember of course.
Joan. But you probably know that if we've met before."
me to remember it. Mostly not.
Joan Hutchinson. And you are?"
must have told me that before. But everything flies out of my mind as
soon as I hear it.
"Kevin. Kevin. Kevin."
They keep telling me about an accident. I don't remember it. I don't remember coming
I don't have any short term memory or any long term memory--but
sometimes I get a flash--a picture in my head of something that
happened yesterday or last month or five years ago. For just a
few seconds now it's clear: I'm sitting across the table from
Kevin in Banjoles--a small restaurant painted a
weird pink color. Our waitress is named "Salli"--at least
that's what it says on her name tag. She has short blonde curls.
"What can I get for you?" I order a bacon club. Kevin has a
seafood salad and a baked potato. He's wearing a blue plaid
shirt open at the neck... Then the picture clouds and closes.
"I was driving," he says.
I don't know what that means, but I do know what to say.
had the green light. The guy plowed right into me. But maybe if I'd
been faster. Maybe I could have stopped in time."
it will be. They say you'll get your memory back. They say I'll walk
again. Then we can start over."
time for me to go."
don't want you to go. Because if you do, I won't remember you were
"I'll come back. I'll always come back."
he wheels himself away. A nurse comes in. She looks familiar,
but of course I don't recognize her.
was Kevin. He's your husband. Did he tell you that?"
look at my left hand and see the gold band on my finger. I wonder
what it's like to be married.
I don't know the way to the dining room, so I follow the nurse. I do what the others do, getting a tray, putting it on a rail, sliding it along. Someone puts a piece of meat on my plate; someone else a dollop of mashed potatoes with brown stuff (I should remember what it's called, but I don't) on top. A woman ladles out a helping of little green things. She has short blonde curls. There's a flash across my mind.
your name Salli?"
you know Kevin?"
I believe...someday...I'll know him again."
Lela Marie De La Garza has had work published in Behind Closed Doors, Pound of Flash, ChickLit, Daily Romance, Creepy Gnome, and Mad March Hare. She was born in Denver, Colorado in 1943 while her father was serving in WWII. She currently resides in San Antonio, Texas with three-and-a-half cats, and a visiting raccoon.